What makes us remember certain things and forget others? What makes some memories never fade? or do they all eventaully fade to subdued colors and shadows of what really happened?
I have only been gone from Korea for about 10 days and Korea seems like a dream. I feel like I went to sleep one night and woke with feelings and impressions of a faraway place. What has made Korea fade into a dream feeling so quickly?
I suspect that it is not so much me, but the atmosphere that I find my self in presently. This place has affected my memories of Korea. When I returned to the USA, I felt different. I was more self-relient, independent, free-thinking and I expected Oconomowoc and Wisconsin to have changed more. But, I found it pretty much the same as when I left it. True, the Starbucks is open, there is a St.Vincent De Paul and a Stein's gifts, but the town feels pretty much the same; there are the same people at church and in the stores. I have fallen back into my old routine with my parents, which has also made my life in Korea feel like a routine.
Another factor is that I can't talk with anyone here who has shared the same experiences in Korea with me. I feel disconnected to the people there and to those here. I feel inbetween worlds almost.
I really hate this feeling. I feel like I lost my new identity and was forced to take my old identity. I am afraid that I will lose what I gained in Korea: both my memories and my improved personality.
What peaceful hours I once enjoy'd! How sweet their memory still! But they have left an aching void The world can never fill. --William Cowper